Helping you get out of your own way & have the life you say you want.

Kid’s controlling dinner?

Junk Food!

When did children become the decision makers about what they eat?

I am now seeing commercials for nutritional drinks to supplement diets of “picky eater children” . News flash They are children and if you LET THEM they will eat nothing but JUNK! It is our job as parents to make sure our kids eat well. If they don’t want to eat what is put in front of them then they go hungry until they decide to eat. My mother did this and my brother and I didn’t starve. In fact we discovered that we liked a variety of foods because we were made to try them.

Being a good parent does not mean being liked by our children all the time. In fact it will probably mean that they won’t like you because you are doing what is best not what is popular in their eyes and that’s ok. Hopefully, it is more important to you that your children have proper nutrition and good health as well as be ready for the world than to be the cool Dad or Mom. Does it take more patience and a tolerance for  the not fun moments of parenthood? Yes, and the moments will pass just as they came. Be of service to your children and teach them what they need to know not just what they want to know.

Roller Derby, Arcata California
 
   If you had a Roller Derby name what would it be? Would it something fierce or cute? Would you pick a name from your past or be totally original? What would your roller derby name say about you?  I recently had a customer come into my health food store who told me that she is part of a roller derby team. She is a lawyer in her late 30′s, married and seems to be pretty level-headed. She then told me that I should try out for the team and that the try-outs were being held next month in February.

     I giggled at the thought at first but then I got to thinking about what fun it would be to race around a track and get out frustration, tension and any aggression that I may be carrying around. I know from personal experience that when I hold on to these feelings they do harm to me both physically and emotionally. Being able to express myself in such a safe (well as safe as roller derby can be) and fun way could be just the ticket.

     Then there is the question of a name. What name could I pick that would inspire not only interest but entertainment to the spectators as well as trepidation in my opponents’ heart and express my personality. What a chance to be creative here, to have some fun and invent an alter ego of sorts so to speak. 

     Sound a little crazy? A little wild and out of the comfort zone? You bet! That is exactly why it appeals to me so much. I find life most invigorating when I’m pushing the limits of what I know I can do to the unknown. Will I get hurt? What if I’m a wimp when it comes time to take action? What if I get booed at the try-outs or if I do make it what if the crowd doesn’t like me?  WHO CARES! The point is to have fun doing something that gives me joy.  I live my life for me not everyone else. I never want to look back and say I could have done that or I wish I would have.

     I would hope that everyone would take a chance in their life and try something new and a little scary to them. Life is all about taking a chance and risking a little discomfort. You never know the rewards that await you on the other side until you go there. Push your limits see what’s there for you and let me know what your roller derby name would be :)

Kay Ray aka “Cinderhella”
(just trying it on, what do ya think?)

It can be hard….

I’m finding that as life ebbs and flows around me, presenting me with new chapters and changes, I struggle with maintaining a perspective  that serves me and my happiness.  My son moving off to college among other things has me more aware lately of how life’s changes bring with them the opportunity to for me to learn more about myself if I allow it.

There are all kinds of fears and doubts about what the future might or might not hold for me and my family. The old habits of worry as well as that nagging not so helpful voice that whispers in my ear.  If I give into these I become very sad and miserable. Even knowing this I’m human and have to remind myself that I don’t know what the future holds and the only control I have is in the here and now.  When the feelings of worry and sadness come I acknowledge them and do my best to let them flow through and past.  Knowing, that to hang on to them will only drag me down. I reach out for help when I need it and help others to get outside of myself and keep me from staying in my head too much.

I post these type of things in hopes that whom ever reads my blog can find encouragement, help or comfort in what ever they are going through. Living my life out loud is not the most comfortable thing to do but if it benefits even one person then it is worth it.

Yours,

Kay Ray

What just happened?

There are moments in a person’s life that if paid attention to can change the course of their life or someone else. It could be the moment that you show compassion to a person you do not know or take a chance by opening a business you know little about and feel passionate about still.

It could be the choice of following a deep desire of your heart and soul even when you don’t know where it will lead. All you know is that you must act or be miserable and forever wonder, “what if”? Finally it could the moments that you choose to step outside of yourself and take time for another. To learn what is important to that person and aid them in achieving those things.

Recently, I have had the privilege to be aware of such moments in my life. I have opened a new business in the last nine months, watched and supported those who are looking at the end of their life. I have been witness to the healing and blossoming of injured souls and have been in wonder of their strength and beauty. Finally, watching my son begin to spread his wings, make preparations to be on his own and forge his life in this world.

All of these moments by themselves are powerful to me and to have them happening at once is a little unsettling. I have struggled with the feelings of sadness, fear and uncertainty. I feel the importance of these moments. I get glimpses in my mind’s eye of the impact each of these moments and the choices I make in them. These choices can have impacts not just in my life but the lives of those around me. It would be easy to get caught up in the inertia of activities of the day-to-day. To be blinded and numbed to the significance of these moments and the power they hold if only I would allow myself to stop take notice and be open.

I realize now more than ever the power of choice in my life and how important it is to take care and take time to pay attention. For it can be the seemingly smallest decision that can be the game changer for you or for someone you won’t ever even meet.  Remember that every road taken  and  those that aren’t is a pebble thrown into the water creating ripples that go on long after you can’t see them.

I’m not sure where my path will end but, I do know that I want to be making the most of it as I go. How about you? Tell me what goes on for you.

Kay Ray  12-17-11

contact@thekayray.com

The Long Goodbye

Have I ever told you Mother how much you mean to me?
I know I have in words and deed but now it seems as the time grows short
that all I’ve said  and done just isn’t enough.

You have been my Sun, Moon and Stars, my world,
and now more than ever my heart.

There is so much I want to say and yet I feel as though we have said
it all during these quiet talks between the two of us.

The only deeds left to do are the ones that express my love for you
during this long goodbye.

With every hug, kiss and memory we share
together, I will carry you always in my heart.
Treasuring this time and grateful for the chance to have this long goodbye.

Kay Ray
November 30,2011

Broomweed Christmas

This poem was written by my mother who is relating a true story from her childhood. My most special Christmas memories are of ones similar to this when we didn’t have “things” to give but we did have each other and our love.

We had a broom weed Christmas in 1954.
A checker game was our present and this we did adore.
We made all of the tinsel my brothers, my mother and me. To adorn our small, sweet, cherished broom weed Christmas tree.
We wrote our childish Christmas cards To:Mother, with all our love.
Exchanged our crayon pictures and thanked God who lives above.
Each time when I feel down and self pity covers me,
I think of the love my family and our broom weed Christmas tree.

By Kay Kiser 1985

 

Have a Giggle

 

Calvin's imagination at work

 

It has snowed here for a few days along with a lot of ice and it got me to thinking of when I was a kid and the fun I used to have in this weather. Calvin & Hobbes is one of my treasured pleasures and I wanted to share it with you so that you may also remember the kid inside. So please click on this link to enjoy more of Calvin’s creations and have a giggle or two.

http://www.angelfire.com/wa/zzaran/calvin.html

I love the one where he is performing brain surgery on a snowman and asks for a donor! ( Yes, I can have a convoluted sense of humor.)

On a side note, I am so glad my son didn’t do the things that Calvin sometimes comes up with even though I find them extremely funny.

 

Kay Ray

Sobering News

Below is part of an article that I just read and it has some startling facts that concern me and should be concerning to you as well.

The United States is rapidly becoming the very first “post-industrial” nation on the globe.  All great economic empires eventually become fat and lazy and squander the great wealth that their forefathers have left them, but the pace at which America is accomplishing this is absolutely amazing.  It was America that was at the forefront of the industrial revolution.  It was America that showed the world how to mass produce everything from automobiles to televisions to airplanes.  It was the great American manufacturing base that crushed Germany and Japan in World War II.  

But now we are witnessing the deindustrialization of America .  Tens of thousands of factories have left the United States in the past decade alone.  Millions upon millions of manufacturing jobs have been lost in the same time period.  The United States has become a nation that consumes everything in sight and yet produces increasingly little. Do you know what our biggest export is today?  Waste paper.  Yes, trash is the number one thing that we ship out to the rest of the world as we voraciously blow our money on whatever the rest of the world wants to sell to us.  The United States has become bloated and spoiled and our economy is now  just a shadow of what it once was.  Once upon a time America could literally out produce the rest of the world combined.  Today that is no longer true, but Americans sure do consume more than anyone else in the world.  If the deindustrialization of America continues at this current pace, what possible kind of a future are we going to be leaving to our children?

Any great nation throughout history has been great at making things.  So if the United States continues to allow its manufacturing base to erode at a staggering pace how in the world can the U.S. continue to consider itself to be a great nation? We have created the biggest debt bubble in the history of the world in an effort to maintain a very high standard of living, but the current state of affairs is not anywhere close to sustainable. Every single month America  goes into more debt and every single month America gets poorer.

#2 Dell Inc., one of America ’s largest manufacturers of computers, has announced plans to dramatically expand its operations in China with an investment of over $100 billion over the next decade.

#3 Dell has announced that it will be closing its last large U.S. manufacturing facility in Winston-Salem , North Carolina in November.  Approximately 900 jobs will be lost.

#4 In 2008, 1.2 billion cell phones were sold worldwide.  So how many of them were manufactured inside the United States ?  Zero.

#5 According to a new study conducted by the Economic Policy Institute, if the U.S. trade deficit with China continues to increase at its current rate, the U.S. economy will lose over half a million jobs this year alone.

#6 As of the end of July, the U.S. trade deficit with China had risen 18 percent compared to the same time period a year ago.

#7 The United States has lost a total of about 5.5 million manufacturing jobs since October 2000.

#8 According to Tax Notes, between 1999 and 2008 employment at the foreign affiliates of U.S. parent companies increased an astounding 30 percent to 10.1 million. During that exact same time period, U.S. employment at American multinational corporations declined 8 percent to 21.1 million.

#9 In 1959, manufacturing represented 28 percent of U.S. economic output.  In 2008, it represented 11.5 percent.

#10 Ford Motor Company recently announced the closure of a factory that produces the Ford Ranger in St. Paul , Minnesota . Approximately 750 good paying middle class jobs are going to be lost because making Ford Rangers in Minnesota does not fit in with Ford’s new “global” manufacturing strategy.

#11 As of the end of 2009, less than 12 million Americans worked in manufacturing.  The last time less than 12 million Americans were employed in manufacturing was in 1941.

#12 In the United States today, consumption accounts for 70 percent of GDP. Of this 70 percent, over half is spent on services.

#13 The United States has lost a whopping 32 percent of its manufacturing jobs since the year 2000.

#14 In 2001, the United States ranked fourth in the world in per capita broadband Internet use.  Today it ranks 15th.

#15 Manufacturing employment in the U.S. computer industry is actually lower in 2010 than it was in 1975.

#16 Printed circuit boards are used in tens of thousands of different products.   Asia now produces 84 percent of them worldwide.

#17 The United States spends approximately $3.90 on Chinese goods for every $1 that the Chinese spend on goods from the United States .

#18 One prominent economist is projecting that the Chinese economy will be three times larger than the U.S. economy by the year 2040.

#19 The U.S. Census Bureau says that 43.6 million Americans are now living in poverty; and according to them, that is the highest number of poor Americans in the 51 years that records have been kept.

So how many tens of thousands more factories do we need to lose before we do something about it?

How many millions more Americans are going to become unemployed before we all admit that we have a very, very serious problem on our hands?

How many more trillions of dollars are going to leave the country before we realize that we are losing wealth at a pace that is killing our economy?

How many once great manufacturing cities are going to become rotting war zones like Detroit before we understand that we are committing national economic suicide?

The deindustrialization of America is a national crisis.  It needs to be treated like one.

If you disagree with this article, I have a direct challenge for you.  If anyone can explain how a deindustrialized America has any kind of viable economic future, please do so below in the comments section.

Foreign governments already own a good portion of American Real Estate and businesses.  What’s it going to be like in 10 yrs?

America is in deep, deep trouble folks.  It is time to wake up.

My wish for you

My Wish for You

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts. 

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. 

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

May you realize that you hold all the power!

May you let go of all regrets.

May you choose happiness in every moment of every day.

May you treat yourself as your best friend and not your worst enemy.

May you know that you are not alone.

In simple words …………

May each day make up the best year of your life!!!

With Love & Warm Wishes
Kay Ray

Special News!

I will be hosting an online radio show this Tuesday Dec. 21,2010 on www.blogtalkradio.com/jkradio at 5pm Central. The topic is “The Gifts We Sow & Reap”. You may recognize the title from my last post. I have decided that this would be a good story to share with listeners and to discuss how the story relates to us.

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